When an ex reaches out and asks, “How are you?” it can feel a bit tricky to know how to respond. The way you answer depends on your relationship with them now, how you’re feeling, and what kind of interaction you want to have.
Whether you’re on good terms or not, your response can shape the tone of the conversation and how things move forward.
Here are several options for how to respond, tailored to different situations.
Friendly and Casual Responses (If You’re on Good Terms)
If you’ve stayed friends or are at a place where you can communicate without awkwardness, keep it light and friendly. These responses help maintain a good connection without overthinking things.
- I’m doing well, thanks for asking! How about you?
- Doing great, thanks! How’s everything with you?
- I’m good! Just staying busy. How about you?
- Everything’s going fine, hope you’re doing well too.
- I’m doing well, thanks for checking in. How’s life treating you?
- All good here! What about you?
- I’m doing okay, thanks! How’s everything on your end?
- Things are going well, how about you? How have you been?
- Doing well, keeping busy. How are you doing?
- I’m doing alright! Hope things are going well for you too.
These responses keep the conversation light, polite, and friendly, giving room for the ex to continue the conversation without awkwardness.
Honest and Open Responses (If You Feel Comfortable Sharing)
If you feel comfortable and want to be honest about your feelings, these responses allow you to open up while keeping the tone positive.
- I’ve been doing pretty well, just figuring some things out. How about you?
- I’ve been better, but I’m taking it one day at a time. How’s everything with you?
- I’m good, just focusing on myself and staying busy. How’s everything on your end?
- Things have been tough, but I’m managing. Thanks for checking in, though. How about you?
- I’m doing well, just working on some personal goals. How about you?
- I’m doing alright—lots going on, but I’m staying positive. How are you doing?
- It’s been a mix of good and bad, but I’m doing okay overall. How are things with you?
- Things are good, just a bit chaotic lately! How’s life with you?
These replies give more insight into your life, letting the ex know what you’re really going through if you feel open to it.
Polite and Neutral Responses (If You’re Not Interested in Reconnecting)
If you’re not really interested in continuing the conversation or reopening old wounds, keeping your reply polite but neutral can be a good approach.
- I’m doing well, thanks. Hope you’re doing okay.
- I’m fine, thanks for asking.
- Everything’s going alright, thanks for reaching out.
- I’m doing well, thanks for checking in.
- Things are good, hope all is well with you.
- I’m fine, just keeping to myself lately.
- All good here, thanks. Hope you’re doing well.
These responses are polite but short, signaling that you’re not looking to dive into a deeper conversation.
Short and Playful Responses (If You Want to Keep It Light and Fun)
If you’re on friendly terms and want to keep things light and fun, you can reply with a bit of humor or playfulness.
- I’m doing great, just trying to survive Monday! How about you?
- I’m surviving—just another day in paradise. How about you?
- I’m doing better now that you’ve asked! How about you?
- I’m doing better than my Wi-Fi connection right now. How about you?
- Doing great—thanks for checking in, now stop making me smile. 😄
- I’m good, just trying to keep it together like everyone else. How about you?
These playful responses help keep things casual and show you’re not taking things too seriously.
If You’re Not Doing Well (and You Want to Share)
If you’re feeling down and want to share that with your ex, these replies let you express yourself without feeling pressured.
- I’m honestly not doing too well at the moment, but I’m managing. Thanks for asking.
- Things haven’t been great lately, but I’m hanging in there. How are you doing?
- It’s been a rough time recently, but I’m getting through it. How are you doing?
- Honestly, it’s been a tough few weeks, but I’m staying strong. How are things for you?
- Not the best lately, but I’m working through it. Thanks for reaching out, though.
- I’ve had better days, but I’m staying positive. How about you?
These replies acknowledge that you’re going through a tough time while keeping the door open for them to offer support or continue the conversation.
If You’re Not Ready to Talk
If you’re not quite ready to have a conversation with your ex, here are some short but polite responses to keep things from going deeper.
- I’m doing okay, just keeping busy. I’ll catch up with you later.
- Things are fine, but I’m not really up for chatting right now.
- I’m alright, just trying to focus on some things at the moment.
- I’m good, just a bit swamped with stuff right now. Let’s talk soon.
- I’m doing well, but I’m a little tied up today. Let’s talk later.
These responses signal that you’re doing okay, but you don’t want to engage deeply at the moment.
Tips for Responding to “How Are You?” from an Ex
- Consider Your Intentions
Think about whether you want to reconnect or keep things casual. Your response will set the tone for how the conversation goes. - Be Honest but Respectful
If you’re not feeling great, it’s okay to share, but do it in a way that doesn’t invite drama or unnecessary emotional baggage. - Keep Your Boundaries Clear
If you’re not comfortable talking, it’s perfectly fine to keep it brief or let them know you’re busy. - Gauge Their Tone
Respond to the vibe they’re giving off. If they’re being light and friendly, feel free to match that. If they’re being more serious or asking out of concern, you can be more reflective. - Stay Calm and Collected
If it’s an awkward moment or a sensitive topic, take a breath before responding and stay calm.
Conclusion
How you respond to “How are you?” from an ex depends on where you’re at emotionally, the kind of relationship you want with them moving forward, and your personal boundaries. Whether you keep it light, be honest, or stay brief, the key is to stay true to yourself and be respectful of the situation.
Do you usually feel comfortable talking to an ex? How do you handle conversations like this? Share your thoughts below!
